


Comfort & Support (Germany x Reader)

by TrashySinner (goodonebarb)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cutting, F/M, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11488935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodonebarb/pseuds/TrashySinner
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm/cutting is essentially the topic of this fic. Mental health issues are discussed. If the topic or after math of self-harm is something that causes you distress I wouldn't recommend reading this. That said however I would like it to be noted that this fic is about healing and support. You had a rough weekend and your sweet German boyfriend is there to help you with the after math of self-harm.





	Comfort & Support (Germany x Reader)

You and your boyfriend had been together for a long time. Ludwig was truly the light in your life. He was always supportive and you always did your best to do the same. You told each other everything. Well, almost everything. Recently, you had picked up a bad habit of your past. Between the stresses of your job, helping Ludwig with the upcoming world meeting, to a bad bout of brain chemistry you were feeling stressed and hopeless. In preparation for the meeting Ludwig was out of town. Normally when Ludwig was away everything went fine. You would manage your work responsibilities and find time to hang out with your friends and unwind. This weekend was different. 

Between not leaving the apartment, sobbing on the floor, receiving some critical remarks from your mother about how your life is going nowhere, you weren’t feeling too good. Feeling hopeless wasn’t new to you. In the past you had struggled with mental health but it had been  _ years _ since it had been this bad. One thing lead to another and you ended up cutting. Shortly after you regretted it immensely feeling an overwhelming sense of shame and inadequacy. 

Now it was monday. Ludwig would be home any minute and you were nervous. You were determined to hide the fresh marks from your boyfriend.  _ It’ll just be easier if he doesn’t see. _ You thought. You glanced at your watch. 6:18. You tapped your fingers nervously on the small dining room table. You had dinner warming on the stove. You played with the sleeves of your sweater.  _ It’ll be fine he won’t notice.  _ You tried to assure yourself. You didn’t think that he would respond badly, you just felt so ashamed. _ I’m an adult now. Adults make smart decisions. Adults don’t cut their wrists.  _ You heard the jingling of keys.  _ Shit. _ You tried to relax as you opened the front door. You gave Ludwig a bright smile. “Welcome back! How was the trip?” you asked reaching for his suitcase. “Don’t I get a kiss first?” Ludwig asked giving you a small smirk. You chuckled nervously.  _ Oh no he’s feeling playful. _ This meant bad news for hiding your body from your affectionate boyfriend. “Of course!” You said giving him a quick peck. He seemed unsatisfied. “Is everything ok, Schatz? You seem nervous.” He gave you a concerned look. “Never better!” You gave him the biggest smile you could muster. “Why don’t you get settled in?” you suggested grabbing his suitcase darting off to the bedroom. “Alright.” He said trying to figure out why you were acting so strangely. He glanced around the apartment. It was a bit messier than usual.  _ She must’ve been busy this weekend, maybe she’s just stressed. _ He thought. He knew, from experience, how easy it was to get overwhelmed by stress. 

Coming out of the bedroom you saw that Ludwig was sitting at the dining room table. “Are you hungry? I have dinner ready if you’d like something to eat.” you asked trying to relax. “That would be wonderful! Thanks.” He said giving you a smile. “Do you need any help?” He asked. You shook your head. “Nope everything's done already.” you said feeling more relaxed with the prospect of dinner.

Dinner was relaxed. You talked with Ludwig about his trip and about the preparations for the world meeting. “So how was your weekend, Schatzi?” He asked giving you a sympathetic smile. He could definitely tell something was bothering you. “It was good. Pretty uneventful.” you said. You hated lying to Ludwig but, you really didn’t want to tell him. “(y/n)...you seem kind of stressed. You know you can talk to me about anything.” He said carefully giving you a worried look. It hurt your heart. You gave him a nod. “Do you want to go to bed early? I would love you give  you a shoulder massage… I missed you a lot.” He said softly. You nodded. “That would be great...thanks, Luddy.” you said smiling. You really did have the best boyfriend in the world. 

You quickly found yourself sitting on your bed receiving an  _ awesome _ shoulder massage from your wonderful boyfriend. “Gott, you are tense.” He commented, focused in his work. He began to pull off your sweater. You tensed up. Ludwig noticed. “Is this ok? I was just going to get the rest of your back. If you don’t want me to I won’t.” He said concerned. You really wanted that back massage. “It’s fine it’s just...cold.” you said in a less than convincing way. He gave you a hug resting his head on your shoulder. “Hey, Schatzi, it’s ok.” he said softly. You couldn’t do it. It was impossible for you to keep yourself closed off from him. You turned around so that you were facing him and buried your face in his chest. You didn’t mean to start crying but you did anyway. Ludwig rubbed your back gently. “Aw, Schatzi,” he cooed in your ear “it’s ok. Let it all out.” You certainly let it all out. You cried until you ran out of tears. For awhile you just sat resting your head on his chest. You could hear his heart beating. It made you feel so much better. “Ich liebe dich.” He whispered softly. You felt a smile spread across your face. “Ich liebe dich auch.” you responded. Time passed as you calmed down. “Hey, Schatzi, why don’t we get in our pajamas?” he suggested softly still gently rubbing your back. You nodded. Reluctantly the embrace was broken and you two went to your respective dressers to hoist out some pajamas. 

Your worry returned as you couldn’t find a pajama top with sleeves.  _ Maybe he just won’t notice. _ Trying to keep your cool you changed into your t-shirt and pajama bottoms. You crawled into bed to join Ludwig. You did your best to hide your arms in a casual way. Ludwig noticed your discomfort and arm hiding. He reached towards your arm, and gently grabbed your hand so he could see the inside of your wrist. Seeing the cuts his face quickly filled with worry and sympathy. “I-I’m sorry.” you stammered softly. You felt so ashamed. He then did something strange. He pulled your wrist to his face and ever so gently, kissed your cuts. Releasing your arm he said: “There’s nothing to be sorry about. These things happen.” He pulled you in for a cuddle-hug. “Y-You’re not mad?” you asked softly. You were confused. You hadn’t expected him to take it so well. He was being so...nice. Calm. Sweet. “I’m not mad. You’re hurting. That’s ok. Just remember, you can talk to me. I’m always going to listen.” he said stroking your hair reassuringly. “Now, you know how I am, would you let me clean them up? Maybe put some bandages on them?” He asked gently. You nodded. 

You were soon in the bathroom, with your sweet German boyfriend very gently dabbing your cuts with a rubbing alcohol soaked cotton ball. “Are there any more?” He asked quietly. You shook your head. As awkward  as it was, you really appreciated Ludwig. He seemed to know exactly what to do. “Hey Luddy, why are you so good at this?” you said glancing up at his focused face. He gave you a reassuring smile, “Well, remember when we first started dating, and I saw your old scars? Remember how you explained how you were really unhappy and had...hurt yourself? After that I, did a little research. I was a little worried. I wanted to be prepared just in case.” He said as he began bandaging your cuts. You were surprised. But at the same it made you feel loved. He cared. Smiling you gave him a peck on the lips. “Thank you.” 

After being bandaged up you and the blond were back in bed cuddled up. “So, (y/n), what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He said he gently drew circles on your back. You looked up at him a bit surprised by the sudden question. “Well...I was really stressed about work and with you gone the apartment was so lonely and there was no one to talk to. I just felt really empty and alone.” You mumbled. He gazed into you eyes a worried, sympathetic look on his face. “I’m sorry. That’s must’ve been hard. Next time you aren’t feeling so well please call me. I want to help. Do you feel any better?” He asked. You nodded. “I...wasn’t going to talk about it. But I’m glad I did.” Ludwig gave you a smile. “I’m glad too.” He planted little kisses on your forehead. “You are wonderful. Never forget that.” He said as he planted a quick kiss on your lips. You smiled. “You’re too good for me.” you said resting your head on his chest. It had been a long day. Between panicking about his arrival to crying your eyes out you were a bit exhausted. Ludwig frowned down at you. “Now, (y/n) that’s not true. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. You are so sweet, funny, not to mention intelligent, and you are the best girl friend I could ever ask for.” He looked into your eyes with such adoration, it made your heart beat faster. You felt just as giddy and embarrassed as you did when you had a humiliating crush on him. Seeing you blush and smile made Ludwig grin. He pulled you closer and planted kisses all over your face. “Now let’s get some sleep. You’ve earned it.” He said as he pulled you close. You just nodded and snuggled into him. Slowly you drifted into a content slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! I was a bit unsure about posting this. It was kind of a therapeutic endeavor. As someone who has struggled with self-harm for a long time I wanted to imagine what it would be like to have someone supportive there to help. Also I know how shameful and unattractive the after math of self-harm can be. This fic was a way for me to tackle those feelings and write something kind of uplifting and comforting. As a side note just remember that self-harm is never the answer, there are many healthier ways to cope with your emotions. However, I know from experience that sometimes it just happens. It can be a great source of shame and while self-harm isn't a good thing your health should always be the number one priority. I just want to say that if you are self-harming or if you are experiencing any other mental health problems that you should seek help. Mental health is extremely important! If there are any thoughts or feelings that are troubling you or getting in the way of your day to day life tell someone. There is no shame in seeking help! Ok I'll step off my soap-box. Anyways I love you all! Stay strong!


End file.
